Road Trip It.

Get in the car and drive South.

Expletives yelled at French rental car companies: Too many to count

Threats made to have entire staff of Auto Europe fired: 2

Pee stops: Also too many to count

Squat toilets peed in: 2

Baguettes eaten: 2

Blocks of cheese consumed: Again, too many to count

Vom stops: only 1

Wallets left on the roof of the car and lost into the French abyss: 1 (BAD, VERY VERY BAD)

Days spent road tripping through France: 2 (very long)

So we've made it South and to the sun: land of saggy, old, leather looking French boobs and men in banana hammocks-many too small for their, er, bananas and other extraneous parts. Have spent the day splashing in the waves of the Med, oggling expensive sailboats, eating fromage, drinking a lovely concoction of beer and lemonade called Panache (MUST remember for future drinking events) and getting completely sunburned.

Off for a lovely bottle of pink wine and sun burn damage control (extra wine, of course...and more fromage)